My Two Dads

As Father’s Day approaches, I started to think about the male role models that I had in my life growing up and how grateful I am that they are still in my life today. I say role models because I never knew my real father. He was an alcoholic and abusive towards my mother and eventually just disappeared from our lives when I was three. Later, when I was about 13, we were informed that he had been hit by a car crossing the street; drunk. A couple of days later he died.

Honestly, I have no hard feelings towards the man, I never knew him. It was like a complete stranger died, so I had no real emotions about it. What I can say, is that young men need male role models in their life, and because my father was absent, I very easily could have been left to my own vices. But I am a very fortunate person. More fortunate than a lot of people in similar situations.

You see, by not having a “real” dad, I ended up with two dads. My uncles stepped in and spent a lot of time with me. Instead of leaving me to sit alone at home, they would include me in things like, family vacations, sleep overs with my cousins, or just throwing the ball around. I really don’t think they understood the impact they were having on me, but I felt loved and important enough to have someone care about me. I think that many kids that feel abandoned struggle with why they were left by the very people who were supposed to love them the most. Well, I never felt that way, because these two guys, that didn’t have to do what they were doing, took it upon themselves to spend time with me.

And trust me, when you hear people say that your kids watch everything you do, it is absolutely true. At home, with no father, and a mother who was doing the best she could to raise two kids by herself, I didn’t really have an example of how to be a husband or father. But when I spent time with my uncles and their families, I was able to see and EXPERIENCE what it was like to have a family. Parents who worked together to run a house and raise children. Parents who went to work and told us that there was so much more to life than what we had now, and that if we worked for it, we could have whatever we wanted.

As an adult, I have lived in other countries and traveled all over the world. I have been able to provide my family with opportunities that I never had, and most people will never have. I have five amazing children and a beautiful and amazing wife. None of which, in my opinion, would have been possible without the examples and love that my two dads provided. I’m not the kind of person who holds back, so they know how much I love them, but you can never say it enough!

Dads, thank you for spending time with me, thank you for having confidence in me, and thank you for loving me! I love you both! I hope that you have a great Father’s Day! I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that my aunts had to put up with me for all of this too, but I’ll leave that for another post.

To all you dads out there, I hope you have the best Father’s Day you can possibly have! I know that I will. I plan on spending some time with my family, after my long run, of course. Peace Joe the Runner

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