You Get EXACTLY what you THINK you Deserve

“Instead of crying why me; ask yourself why not me?” Joe the Runner

If people avoided doing the things that they knew were bad for them and focused on the things that they knew were good for them, there would be no cigarette, alcohol, or junk food industry and the physical fitness industry would explode beyond imagination! There would be lines coming out the doors of libraries everywhere! The lesson here is that knowledge is not enough to help people change behavior. Not where emotion and psychology are involved. Tell me if any of these sound familiar:

“I worked hard all morning, I deserve this cigarette.”

You worked hard, so you deserve lung cancer, mouth and throat cancer, bad breath, brown teeth, smelly clothes, and the ability to contaminate the fresh air of everyone else around you with second hand smoke? Remember, that the second hand smoke is probably impacting the people you love the most, kids, partners, friends, and spouses! The best part is you get to pay 10 bucks a pack for the privilege.

“It’s been a stressful weekend; I deserve a night out drinking!”

You’re going to relieve your stress by drinking yourself silly, giving yourself liver cirrhosis, and by being hung-over and bloated in the morning? Once again, having the privilege to pay for it all with your hard earned money!

“I had a great work out, I deserve this donut!”

After making an investment in your health with a great effort at the gym or on the road, you are going to immediately cash that check by eating junk food? You deserve the high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, heart disease, and bad teeth associated with sugary and fried foods?

It’s all about perspective. If you view only the immediate rush or “reward” of the cigarette, alcohol, or junk food, it’s easy to trick yourself in to this cycle of “I deserve this.” But if you take just a second to go beyond that immediate hit and look at what you are doing to yourself long term, hopefully you will become a little uncomfortable. You absolutely must change your mentality before you can make a lifestyle change. So where do you start?

This is going to sound very warm and fuzzy, but I need you to hang in there because this stuff does work. Everyday, start saying to yourself, out loud if you have the balls, if not internally works too, “I deserve to feel great, look great, smell great, live longer, and keep more of my damn money!” This starts the change in your perspective that is necessary to start changing your behaviors, and believe me, it definitely starts with the mind. Once you start to say that this is what you deserve, how can you light that cigarette? How can you eat a donut after each workout? Say this to yourself everyday and every time that you start to head down the path of making a bad decision. Ask yourself what you REALLY deserve.

I’m not a psychologist, but this exercise that follows works well for me in regards to creating a plan and some goals to keep me on track. And like most great things in life, it starts with a lot of questions. Get a piece of paper and a pen, and sit down and answer these questions. “What is my ideal self?” Be specific and cover as many facets of your life as possible. What do you look like in regards to finances, your relationships as a partner, parent, friend, employee, boss etc., your physical attributes, are you overweight? Are you healthy? Do you smoke? How do you feel everyday? Are you full of energy? You get the point, be specific.

Now that you have a clear picture of what your ideal you is, start to write down the things that you need to do to move closer to the ideal you. If you said that your ideal you feels great everyday and has a lot of energy, you may need to quit smoking, eat healthy, and exercise. These become “goals.” Now each of those “goals” will require an action plan. As an example, if you want to quit smoking, you may want to join a support group, choose a date for that last cigarette (immediately works best), set up a reward system like putting the money from the cigarettes you would buy in to a jar and then buying yourself something you have always wanted when you hit that amount. Write it all down under “Quit Smoking.”

When you have finished this exercise, you will have a complete picture of your ideal self, you will have a list of goals to achieve, and you will have an action plan around each of those goals that will get you there. When you start to implement those actions and make progress, think about how great you will feel knowing that you are getting closer and closer to becoming the you that you have always wanted to be. When you hit a bump in the road, forgive yourself, forget it, and get right back on track. Don’t let the inevitable bump turn in to a complete disaster!

All that’s left to do now is get after it! You will get EXACTLY what you THINK you deserve. If you need support, we’re here. Email me at joe.randene@joerandene.com

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