Alright everyone, this is going to be interesting. Like sitting in the dentist chair, death grip on the arm rests, getting a cavity filled interesting. Because we are probably going to hit a nerve. I can remember the conversation pretty clearly; I was talking with my sister about how proud I was of her because she had lost weight recently. She explained to me that since she had lost weight, she had stopped taking her diabetes medicine. Type two diabetes runs in our family BUT, so does obesity. I am not a doctor, so do not stop taking your diabetes medication after reading this. (Had to throw that disclaimer in there). This post is not about diabetes however, it’s just the context of our conversation.
Well, I pointed out that in my personal experience, the weight that I lost and getting fit made me a better husband as well. At first she disagreed completely. She said “Just because you were fat didn’t make you a bad husband.” A very reasonable and correct statement. You’re weight does not prevent you from being a great spouse or partner, but the question is not; does it make you good or bad? The question is does it make you better than what you currently are? My opinion is yes, and here is why.
This is not about looks or attractiveness, in fact, even after I lost weight, I’m not an attractive guy! My wife loved me through thick, and she loves me through thin too. Circling back to that better spouse thing though, I asked her how she felt about me when I was 330 pounds. She said “Look, I always loved you, but I was concerned. We were all concerned (the kids). You didn’t exercise, you drank, and you were overweight. I wondered how long you were going to be around.” That my friends hits you like freight train.
I was a great husband. I provided for my family. I spent time with them, and my wife and I were then, and are now, best friends. But I was hurting them. The decisions that I was making were forcing the people that I loved the most to watch me slowly kill myself. Or maybe even quickly kill myself! You never really know. To be honest, I never thought of that. Of course now, when I look at it with hindsight being 20/20, I can see it and I can see I was being selfish.
THAT is why being fit makes you a better person. It’s not because you look better, it’s because you remove stress from the people that you love. They know that you are taking care of yourself and you are going to be around for as long as you can be. I have five kids, that’s a lot of stuff that I’ll miss out on. Weddings, grandchildren, graduations, and just shooting the breeze. My wife and I are at a point where we have time alone again because the kids are growing up. “Hey I remember you! We had a kid 21 years ago and then things were crazy for a while and now you’re back. You were here all along? Oh.” It’s going to be great to start dating again and I want to spend as many years as possible with my best friend! She deserves that.
This whole blog is about motivation, inspiration, fitness, change, becoming the best you that you can be. If you need to dig deep inside to find a reason to wake up early, skip a dessert, push a little harder in that work out, or start that business that you have always wanted to. There it is. Stop looking in the mirror for a minute and look at the people who love you and realize that they want you to be around as long as possible!
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